do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize
