Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
