you guys were way drunker than both of me
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize