dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I will pee on everything he values.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
