YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
