Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
