is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize