Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize