If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
