I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
