Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
