Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
