The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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