So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
zippers are such a cool invention
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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