Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
