She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
