I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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