By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
