I CAN MOONWALK!
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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