Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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