We're facebook friends in real life
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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