had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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