Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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