Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
