can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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