I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
