i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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