i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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