Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
