we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
porn star boner night. come get it.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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