Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
i believe in u and ur pee
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
