I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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