I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
