I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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