FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
