Plan B is the new Plan A
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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