matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
it's like iHOP with fire
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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