If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
