another moral hangover. fuck.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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