I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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