her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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