So drunk, too bad you don't want this
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
