What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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