I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
