Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
People in love make me want to vomit
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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