so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
