I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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