he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
