where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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