so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
