The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
