I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
