UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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