just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
