Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
