a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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