I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
