dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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