He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
