i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
